Positive Emergence » Communication

Giving Away Personal Power

Trula — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 12:45:13 +0000

Sirius A & B, a double-star system that makes me think of power

I’ve been thinking about this for some time. The giving away of personal power and how it has manifested itself in my life. I read a post today on another blog that really made me think on this, the writer basically said being around certain people was psychologically destructive to her. Believe me, I understand that; it’s a big reason I limit my interaction with many of my family members, a big reason, why I ditched certain friends, and a big reason I choose not to talk to certain people. But I also understand that in a very real way, in doing these things, I am giving other people power over me and this severely limits the possibility of any change or growth in either party.

From experiences I’ve had, I know that sometimes just starting a discussion can open up avenues of thought just for myself that helps me whether I change the mind of anyone else. It goes a long way toward building my own emotional strength, so I am not so easily psychologically destroyed by people with a fundamentally different world view. That is an essential giving away of power that undermines the ability to grow as a person, I feel.

Staying stagnant is probably my biggest fear. I’m light years away from being a tight-fisted ball of misery, filled with pain and angst. In part because I chose to reclaim my personal power, bit by bit. When will I decide to claim it all?

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Why Talking Bad About Others is Never Ok

Trula — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 02:27:54 +0000

So I wrote on a message board community of which I am a part a long post (really, it was quite a tome) about some issues happening among members of my family. Someone involved saw it and was very hurt by it and felt I was talking bad about her behind her back because, well, I was talking bad about her behind her back. I could try to say I wasn’t by saying I was looking for advice on how to help, and was struggling with how everyone else in the family talked about her issues behind her back and I didn’t want to be like that, but there I was, doing just that same thing here. Saying something very personal about her that I didn’t have the courage and respect to say to her face.

I learned a powerful lesson about being real and honest with people. That basically if you can’t/won’t say it to their face for whatever reason, don’t say it at all. Because talking about someone’s private business behind their back, without their knowledge or consent, even with good intentions is never ok. It’s hurtful, and it’s wrong.

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Intention & Communication

Trula — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:17:16 +0000

I am fascinated with communication. On the surface talking to another person or people seems like such a simple thing, but it can be really difficult to understand what people mean sometimes. It is also often very hard to express what I intend sometimes…this is something I struggle with and more often than I’d care to admit I find myself in arguments or misunderstandings when my intention was not to fight or stir up conflict in any way. That said, I think any time I learn something productivity has occurred and I always learn something in these conflicts. It helps me to improve how I communicate when I know why someone would take my words in a different way than I intended. Language is a big fascination of mine, particularly I’m strongly interested in learning how to clearly express what I mean and also my intentions,. I try to be mindful of the words I choose.

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