So I wrote on a message board community of which I am a part a long post (really, it was quite a tome) about some issues happening among members of my family.  Someone involved saw it and was very hurt by it and felt I was talking bad about her behind her back because, well, I was talking bad about her behind her back.  I could try to say I wasn’t by saying I was looking for advice on how to help, and was struggling with how everyone else in the family talked about her issues behind her back and I didn’t want to be like that, but there I was, doing just that same thing here.  Saying something very personal about her that I didn’t have the courage and respect to say to her face.

I learned a powerful lesson about being real and honest with people. That basically if you can’t/won’t say it to their face for whatever reason, don’t say it at all.  Because talking about someone’s private business behind their back, without their knowledge or consent, even with good intentions is never ok.  It’s hurtful, and it’s wrong.

I am fascinated with communication. On the surface talking to another person or people seems like such a simple thing, but it can be really difficult to understand what people mean sometimes. It is also often very hard to express what I intend sometimes…this is something I struggle with and more often than I’d care to admit I find myself in arguments or misunderstandings when my intention was not to fight or stir up conflict in any way. That said, I think any time I learn something productivity has occurred and I always learn something in these conflicts. It helps me to improve how I communicate when I know why someone would take my words in a different way than I intended. Language is a big fascination of mine, particularly I’m strongly interested in learning how to clearly express what I mean and also my intentions,.  I try to be mindful of the words I choose.