Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.
~Jean Kerr
I saw this quote today and thought it was so apropos to how I’m feeling these days. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up and bogged down by all the realities of day-to-day living…in these stressful times that too often means lots and lots of negativity. But the bad feelings pass, you just have to have hope.
Today’s Quote:
I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor. ~Henry David Thoreau
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately…that a fundamental aspect of being a person is having the ability to choose who you are, how you’re going to act/react, how you’re going to live and function in the world. Understanding this caused a huge paradigm shift in me which put me on the path of personal growth. I can choose to improve myself and my life; I can put myself on the level I want to be on.
The blue of the sky always gets me…it’s so open and welcoming; such an expression of hope. It makes me feel uplifted especially when I am feeling down. I look up, and the blue washes into me. Instant attitude adjustment.
Today’s quote:
What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us.
~Viktor Frankel
What do you think? What does life expect from you?
I’m re-reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
So I’m starting with the 30-Day Test that Covey suggests. It’s a challenge where for just 30 days: Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
I know in my mind I am responsible for my actions, my effectiveness, my own happiness. Now is the time to know it in my heart. To live it.
One of the exercises is to listen to your language and the language of the people around you. How often do you use and hear reactive phrases such as “if only” and “I can’t” or “I have to”? WOW this is deep for me because I say stuff like this all day long most days. So just changing the way I speak will affect the way I think and thus the way I act. I feel empowered already!
So I wrote on a message board community of which I am a part a long post (really, it was quite a tome) about some issues happening among members of my family. Someone involved saw it and was very hurt by it and felt I was talking bad about her behind her back because, well, I was talking bad about her behind her back. I could try to say I wasn’t by saying I was looking for advice on how to help, and was struggling with how everyone else in the family talked about her issues behind her back and I didn’t want to be like that, but there I was, doing just that same thing here. Saying something very personal about her that I didn’t have the courage and respect to say to her face.
I learned a powerful lesson about being real and honest with people. That basically if you can’t/won’t say it to their face for whatever reason, don’t say it at all. Because talking about someone’s private business behind their back, without their knowledge or consent, even with good intentions is never ok. It’s hurtful, and it’s wrong.
I do think the world would be a fantastic place if we all acted out of love and pride instead of shame and fear. I think people feel ashamed sometimes because they feel it was their fault that they are in the situation they are in. Even if it is, they still should have enough food to eat.
I know this was how I felt for a long time. I felt ashamed that I had not been responsible and had done things that led up to my being poor and it’s fallout like being evicted, getting utilities turned off, etc. Or I felt ashamed that I couldn’t do better for my kids, move them somewhere with good schools or shame that I couldn’t afford private school. It took a minute for me to realize that economic status or not, my kids deserved to go to clean, safe, and academically competent schools just like the kids of the middle-class and wealthy. The shame wasn’t that I couldn’t afford to move to an upscale suburb (then) or pay for private schools, the shame was that this country does not provide equal public schools for all children regardless of the economic status of their parents.
In many ways when I look back on my life I feel a sense of shame that I allowed myself to be victimized by others, and didn’t take responsibility for myself at an earlier age. But – I do think that we have a responsibility to other people as well. I feel a sense of shame that I have not done what I can do to help others.
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